


In Your Heart

by seraphcaeli



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-30 22:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphcaeli/pseuds/seraphcaeli
Summary: Even now she is foreign to me, an unknown, a Dalish mage, my Inquisitor. She is both a dazzling light and shrouded in shadow.A one-shot that may become more.UPDATE: Well it's becoming more





	1. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's first impressions of the Dalish mage Herald of Andraste

She is always wandering, always questioning, always mingling. Either the Dalish have abandoned their reclusive ways, or she is unlike any Dalish I have ever met.

The Herald of Andraste. Maker knows why she was imbued with this “mark” but I suppose it is fitting that there is something remarkable about her. I noticed it when I first saw her near the temple before our push to close the breach. She had been a prisoner thrust into a battle she knew little about, and yet she had faced it all in stride, professing her desire to help in any way she could. When the Pride demon came through, she used the mark to weaken it, as Solas suggested. She stood, feet planted firmly to the ground, her face set with determination. That sort of courage is what the Inquisition needs.

She has a way of making even the most skeptical citizens of Haven feel at ease. It's more than just the rumors and this “Herald” business. She knows how to find common ground with just about everyone. She spends her free time getting to know the people, trying to understand.

I am working with the new recruits when she finally makes her way over to me.

“Good morning, Commander.” Her expression is amicable, but her posture is hesitant. I wonder how many Templars (or former Templars) she has encountered with her clan.

“Good morning, Herald,” I want to come across friendly, but I cannot dispel my cautiousness at the staff strapped to her back. Herald or not, she is a mage, and an apostate. Despite my resolve to keep my guard up, I find myself enthusiastically answering her questions and carrying on about my hopes for the Inquisition.

“Forgive me. I doubt you came here for a lecture,” I say before I get too carried away.

“No, but if you have one prepared, I'd love to hear it.” She glances at me sidelong and smiles, her Dalish tattoos twisting up around her lips. Maker, is the Herald flirting with me?

“I, ah… there's still a lot of work ahead.” She hasn’t broken eye contact, her huge, forest green eyes unabashedly observing me. I blush under her gaze.

“Commander!” A soldier approaches, sparing me further embarrassment.

“As I was saying,” I shrug apologetically and quickly occupy myself with whatever the soldier has to say. She watches for a moment more before returning to her dwelling.

********

I am awake just before dawn, only ever to sleep in short fits. Lyrium withdrawal has done nothing to help my nightmares. I step out of my tent, letting the cold morning air jolt my mind into forgetting the terror.

Moonlight glints on the surface of the frozen lake. Movement catches my attention at the edge of the trees and I am startled for a moment before realizing it is her.

She is carrying a blanket, flask, and a freshly killed rabbit as she steps silently over the snow. She is barefoot and wild and looks well-rested for the first time since she came to the Inquisition.

She sneaks past me towards the gates of Haven and I think she has not seen me. But then she turns, locking eyes for just a moment before disappearing into the village


	2. Chapter 2

I don't see her in the doorway when I finally lose my composure and fling the lyrium supplies across the room. She dodges my projectile.

“Maker’s Breath! Forgive me.”

“Do you need to talk?”

I am coming apart at the seams, pain wracking my limbs. I start towards her and stumble. She reaches for me, concern writ on her face. I can't bear her kindness in this moment.

“I should be taking it. I never meant for this to interfere.”

“Cullen, it's alright.”

“You know what I've been through. You know the horrible things I've witnessed as a Templar. I want nothing to do with that life.”

She takes another step towards me. “I understand, Cullen-”

“Don't! You should be questioning me! I can't rid my mind of these thoughts. I can't give less to the Inquisition than I did to the Chantry. I should be taking it!” I slam my fist into the nearest shelf. I know I must seem a fool but I can't stop.

“Cullen, is that what you want?”

I unclench my fist. She always knows what to say, how to frame problems in the right light. “No. But if I can't do this…”

She bridges the gap between us and rests her hand on my forearm. Even through the heat and pain of withdrawal, her touch is cool, reassuring.

“You can.”

I want to kiss her. Sweet Andraste, I want to pull her close and press my lips on hers, and for a brief moment I think I will continue my spiraling out of control and do it. But I know how that would end.

By now, everyone knows about the Inquisitor and her apostate elf lover. They've seen how he goes with her wherever she goes, heard the throes of their love-making from the rotunda when they believe the rest of Skyhold sleeps.

What a fool I was for thinking a Dalish elf could ever trust a Templar enough to love. Of course she would prefer another mage, of course she would prefer her own kind.

And yet here she is, staring up at me with those gigantic forest green elf eyes, picking up my broken pieces, her small hand still resting in the crook of my arm.

I am the one to break our gaze.

“Thank you, Caerwyn. Your confidence means more than you know.”

She gives a final squeeze on my arm and takes her leave

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh first attempt at fan fiction. All constructive criticism welcome.


End file.
